I have been told that my LJ is too negative and it got to me thinking. I guess if I read through it again it could seem that way, but it is what is happening in my life, so I am not sure how to change that.

I have however decided to try to be more positive in my posts in the hopes that it will have a reverse affect and make not only my life be more positive, but also reflect into a more positive outlook. Either way it would be a good thing right? :-)

Yesterday afternoon I listed some of the remaining larger sale items on Craigslist and within minutes sold something. I even got $10 extra for delivering it. Today I just answered emails for other interested parties in the remaining items. I so hope to bring in more money for the teens. Of course, then I wonder what interesting events they will choose to do with their new found funds.

Yesterday we had a church teen fundraiser rummage sale. Items were collected over the last month or so from our congregation and people were so generous.

The teens worked hard and were very serious about their work. They all came over on Saturday evening to price and sort items and then we opened at 7:00 in the morning. The teens didn't have much sleep, but they were troopers and put on a great sale!

At 3:00 we started to break things down. We filled my mini van with all the items we felt were more worthy to go to charity, but kept out most items to have another sale in a couple of months. The Teens raised over $450.00, which was such a wonderful success. We will also put some bigger items out on Craigslist to see if we can up the amount before the end of the week.

The last day of cleaning was probably the worst. It seems we underestimated the condition of this last room. We were informed that the little lady has a habit of opening the outside window so that the local cats can freely enter the room. In turn, they had been using the room as a shelter and giant litter box. The closet had piles of feces and the walls were sprayed almost to the ceiling with feces and urine. The carpeting was the same and mind you there were items stored in this room as well.

As you might imagine I came home and took a shower. The daughter threatened to call us in again when she comes to visit, but I can assure you I won't be going back. It is all very sad really. It hurts me to know that people live in such conditions and families are slow to change things because they worry over the persons feelings. When it gets to this point, feelings are not the issue, their health and safety is.

Two days of cleaning in the house and I am still alive. The dust shall not conquer me!! The rest of it might, but not the dust. I still have one more day (Thursday) to work over there, but then I am done.

It has been a bit difficult. The owner is a little lady who has alzheimers and goes from sweet, to miffed, to very very loud and angry. Angry bouts even explode to threats of violence. Happily for me I was never at that end of it. The woman seems to like me quite well, but if you know me you know I am not abrasive and am most fearful of others anger and will do whatever it takes to soothe any savage beast.

The man who lives there is in a wheel chair temporarily due to a foot/leg injury. He is also an angry man. While he mostly just mumbles, he occasionally lets you know you are a huge nusance to him and are disrupting his life.

Knowing these things you can imagine how tense it is to clean a house around people who do not want you there, are forever on top of you trying to watch your every move and/or are stationed in a way that you cannot do your job. The man also feels he must be doing something in whatever room you happen to be working in. I had no more than cleaned the dining room when he decided he needed to sort things from boxes in that room. (Well okay than)

The daughter of the woman and her husband were also there sorting and directing us to different tasks. This was good at times, but also kind of a hindrance when it came to requests that did not necessarily pertain to cleaning, but to moving things and/or sorting.

On top of that there are 3 dogs and a sickly looking cat continually running about. 3 of these animals are accustomed to sitting on whatever is nearby and have no issue with relieving themselves where ever they choose. On top of that there is a neighborhood male cat who finds it fun to spray the walls with urine. Imagine the fun I have been having!

I could not have done it as quickly as it has been done without the help of a friend and fellow cleaner from church. Combined we were machines.

151/2 hours later I have puffy eyes, bruises and body aches, but at least I had today to recover. Well half a day anyway. We are having a fundraiser yard sale at our house on Sunday to raise money for the church teen group. So now I have to go sort out the garage and make space for arriving items. (sigh) I guess I'll rest on Friday.

Today I will be cleaning another house. I hadn't planned to be cleaning houses for extra cash, but it seems to be working out that way. Last week a friend asked if I would be interested in cleaning a home of a relative's relative. I am not one to turn away money so I checked the place out and agreed. It is a big job, so they also hired another woman from church who will work with me. She however does it for a living.

I guess I take the position that any money coming in is good money and even if it's not exactly the direction I would like to take, it is more than some can say they have. I must say I considered not doing it. The place was explained to me as a horror, but mostly it is just dirt and cob webs. I had imagined horrors of which I have explained to you in previous posts, so I guess I was pleased to see what I saw there.

Wish me well and hope that it isn't too dusty. I am allergic to dust. So, why do I live in the desert. LOL

I feel so bad for some people, they seem so lost. I receive emails through a christian site. Now mind you, it is just a feedback link, know one knows it is me who sees the messages, so it's not a personal thing.

Anyway, lately I have been receiving these messages sent via texts. They are simply little messages to God, little prayers as it were. Things like, "Thank you God for a new day."

You would think this was a good thing, but it makes me sad for the person. They obviously don't know how to have a personal relationship with God, but want one. They are reaching out through the feedback link of a Christian site. I guess it makes them feel connected some how.

The only thing I can think of to do is to pray for this person. I don't dare answer the texts as they really are not addressed to any person, but to God.

We are thrilled with the cool weather. I realize that many of you are already getting snow, but for us the low to mid-sixties are wonderful!

Tonight we may turn on the heat as it will get down to 45º. I have so missed the cooler weather. One of the biggest downfalls for me living here in the desert is that we rarely, if ever get to really cozy in. I actually miss wearing a big robe and slippers and curling up with a good book and a cup of hot tea or chocolate. I miss fireplaces and crisp icy mornings.

I am sure that some day I will move somewhere cooler, which I know I've said before. I don't think I want to move somewhere where there is a ton of snow, but it is not out of the question.

Well I guess I've reached my last nerve. The breaking of the camel's back so to speak. I just wish I knew what to do about it.

Yesterday, our Wii stopped working. We shut it off after using it and it just won't come back on. It's a small thing, nothing to get upset about, but for some reason I started getting sick to my stomach. I felt like the world was crashing in around me and I couldn't stop it from happening. I spent the rest of the day feeling like I would burst into tears at any moment, but never did.

I realize that it has nothing really to do with the Wii, but is everything else going on around me. I manage to put it all aside and move forward with little to no feeling usually. This has taken many months of training myself not to think about what cannot be changed. The force be with you sort of thing.

Though my guess is that all these little problems were merely pushed back and now lie just under the surface waiting to break through and little things like this set off an imbalance, which causes a disturbance within the force.

Today, I feel more on top of it again, but deep down I know that the day must go smoothly for me to keep going. I must use the "force" wisely and not allow the dark side to overcome me.

As you all know, we are going through a short sale, but it amazes me how long it all takes. We put the house up for sale in June, we had an offer within a couple of weeks and then you turn everything over to your bank.

The bank however takes it's time in getting around to it. Granted they've got a lot of them, but if they can process tons of transactions a day, they should be able to upload paperwork to their computers in a reasonable time you would think. But no. It is now October,(almost November) that's about 4-months that have passed. My Realtor emails us last week to tell us that the bank has finally uploaded all of our paperwork, so I start thinking it won't be long now right? Wrong!

Today I receive an email from the bank. They are telling me that it will be another 45 to 90 days before we even get to the point of finding out if they will be willing to go forward with the sale at all!

I am bitter sweet over it all. On one hand, I want it to be done and over with, but on the other hand, I need the extra time for financial reasons. The frustration comes though, because I want to find another place to live and I tire of living without the items I have already packed. Things you are sure you won't need are suddenly very important to have.

Yes, we could move before the end of the sale, but then we have another issue. We have a pool that would quickly turn green if we left. I feel the obligation to my neighbors to keep it at it's best, as well as to the new buyers. They should at least get what they saw or better. After all, it's not their fault I am in this position, nor is it their fault that we are making nothing on this deal. While I will not go out of my way to add to the home, I also will not let it degrade in any way either, it wouldn't be right.

I just hope we can put this all behind us in a timely fashion that works out well for all concerned. But yeah, it's frustrating!

It is interesting to me the way people shift blame when things don't go their way. The government and global alarmists are very much like this. When the people change their views they do one of two things, they either push harder or they shift the blame.

For instance: Yesterday, I heard on the news that there were new figures in and most weren't buying into the global warming thing anymore. "Why?" they asked. Their answer was that because of the economy interest in saving the world had waned.

Really? It isn't because it is colder than normal in some areas or that there has been more snow and rain than was predicted? Just one month ago they were trying to say that all the cold temps were because of global warming.

In case you are too young to remember, in the 1970's the government scientists were warning of an impending ice age. Hmm, what's wrong with that picture?

The other example I have (though there are many more) of their pushy agenda, are the commercials on television about saving the polar bears. Sometimes it's blatant, sometimes subtly added in a background scene or poster. The polar bears are disappearing due to our neglect. Again I say, Oh really?

Latest counts have shown that polar bear numbers have nearly doubled over the past few years. If they don't stop multiplying so quickly we'll have to start hunting them or something to keep their numbers in control.

She thanks you as she steps down from here soap box.

I just talked to a girl friend I hadn't talked to in a while last night. Whenever we talk it goes on for hours because it's such a rarity.

Anyway, I have been feeling quite sorry for myself and our financial situation, but that was punched right out of me after said conversation. It seems my friends husband has been out of work for 9-months now. He received a sort of pension, but they used it all up paying bills and now it is gone. They get a couple hundred dollars a week for unemployment, but can't get other help until they can prove the pension is gone.

Their home is up for short sale like mine, but when they leave they are basically homeless. They will be living with relatives, but can't even afford a storage for their stuff. The money they do get is minus 25% as they use that to keep their car. Times are rough right now and people are at their wits end trying to find work. I just have to count my blessings that Robert has a job.

I have friends in Houston that are in the same situation, but they have enough money to last a year if need be. Families will soon be moving in together just to survive I fear.

It makes me kind of angry when the government talks about how the economy is turning around. As far as I can tell, at least with most of the people I know, it is no where near turning around.

As much as I love Autumn I suffer immensely from allergies this time of year. My eyes itch, my sinuses are on fire and my lungs feel like I breathed in chemical fumes. It is a miserable time for me and yet I inside I want to be outside in the cooler temperatures. It is a love hate relationship for Autumn and I.

I am so thankful to Robert, who after so long, finally decided to upgrade my computer. You have no idea how frustrating it has been to not be able to open any clips/songs or to do some really basic things on my computer. I wasn't able to open many peoples Word files unless they sent them from an older version. I couldn't even download updates because my system was too old to know how to receive them.

While I am not up-to-date with all the latest editions, I am far enough along now to function properly. Hurrah!! I know that once this version gets too old it means buying a whole new system, so hopefully this will last at least a little while.

Thanks Robert!

Thought I'd share a few photos from our trip.

Roger took this the first night.



A hawk perched on a nearby boat mast.



Our view of the marina.



Robert cooks up some chicken, ribeye, and porterhouse for the crowd. He had 3 grills going at once.



I wanted to get some good pics of the seagulls so I fed them. :)



Roger and some boys messing around.



Robert was an usher at church all week.



Roger enjoying some bbq. I also used this one as an userpic.



The last one is one of Robert and I, which I am using as my default picture. We had wonderful temps in the 70's and 80's and the sun shone most every day. Couldn't have asked for better weather.

Greetings!!

Just arrived home last evening from the Feast in Escondido, CA. We actually stayed in Oceanside, CA at the Oceanside Marina Suites. We have stayed there before, but this time we were facing the marina. The hotel has very nice views, one of the marina and the other of the harbor into the marina as well as the ocean.

I have discovered over the years that when near the ocean I have little to no allergy issues and my singing voice is greatly improved, but on the other hand, my arthritis kicks up in the moist air. So this begs the question, which is worse? Constant post nasal drip and sneezing or back and joint pain? You may not think there is a question of the two, but believe it or not there is. I am not an ocean lover, but I do wonder about moving somewhere with a bit more humidity and what that might do for me.

Overall the week went well. We had no illnesses this year, which was a plus, but Robert did get an abscess under a back tooth the last day, which was quite painful for him. The weather was mild and sunny for the most part and the fellowship was tremendous. So much so that we have decided to make sure we have an evening at our hotel with just family at all future Feast sites.

The drive home was uneventful except for stopping for constant potty breaks. We drove 5 others home this year and I think some had eaten badly that morning or something. One passenger also seemed to have the flue, so we are hoping that the rest of us all stay healthy this week and were not exposed in such a way as to become ill. I made a point of disinfecting the areas of exposure closest to the ill person, but one never knows.

Anyway, I wanted to post that we have returned and that the week was quite refreshing and rejuvenating to the mind and spirit.

Tomorrow we leave for California. I guess I have been more excited than I thought, or maybe it's stress, because I have not been sleeping. Night before last I had a fitful night, so I thought I would sleep like a baby last night, but no dice. I went to bed about 11:00 and then at 12:00 after no sleep I got up. I used that time to do a little paperwork and then watched television until 1:00 before heading back to bed. I laid there awake for at least a half hour before finally dozing off and then got up to the alarm at 7:00 this morning.

It's weird because I usually need a good 8 to 9 hours of sleep, but even today I feel as if I have taken some drug or drank 45 cups of coffee. The only caffeine I have each day is with my tea, two cups every morning and then I am strictly decaffeinated for the day, so this wired feeling is kind of disconcerting.

I spent the morning picking up and sorting Roger's room. My son got no neat genes and it doesn't seem to matter what we do, he refuses to keep it clean. It may come to me stripping his room, but so far I haven't had the heart to do it. I am also finishing up bathroom bags and gathering all the luggage to one area of the house. I'll pack the SUV once Robert gets home from work. Excitement mounts!!

It is funny how time stands still when you want it to move. I have been busy packing and finishing up the details we all go through before a trip, so for a while it seemed I was never going to finish on time, but now I am finishing up with those details and time is slowing. I swear I looked at the clock and then worked for a half hour only to look back and find that only 10 minutes had passed.

I find myself wandering the house doing odd jobs trying to fill the time. Yet I know as the deadline to leave arrives I will suddenly think of 52 things I need to do or have forgotten to do. I hope not, but that would be par for the course.

We leave early Friday morning, that is if we can get all our passengers to arrive on time, and then a 6 to 7 hour drive to Escondido, CA. Times vary because we never know just how many potty stops we will be making along the way and of course you just have to stop and get a burger or something along the way. :)

So far today I have found a CA wheelchair rental place for one of our passengers, packed my bathroom bag, dropped off dry cleaning and put dinner in the crock pot. Guess I'll have to vacuum or something, that should use up time. :)

The interview seemed to go well. I was one interview in 12, so we will see how I held up against others. I will know on Tuesday, as that's when they said they would decide. I will have to check my email as I will be out of town that day.

They may have an issue with me not being willing to work on Friday nights and Saturdays, but than again, they seemed to like that I had some house cleaning experience. Not exactly my dream job, but I can get down and dirty if I have to, as long as I get a paycheck.

They also only give 1099's, which is okay I guess, but I would have to remember to keep some of my check out to pay for the taxes.